Pineapple Slicer: Still a Genius Tool or the Fruity Embodiment of Over-Engineering?

Last Updated on May 29, 2025 by nice2buy

Back in 2013, I reviewed the pineapple slicer with the kind of optimism usually reserved for first dates and Black Friday deals. I declared that it could “peel, core, and slice a pineapple in 30 seconds.” Bold claim. Fast forward to 2025, and it’s time to revisit this spiky kitchen relic and ask the real question: is this still a genius gadget or just culinary cosplay for people who think brunch is a personality trait?

A Stainless Steel Spiral of Hopes and Juice

Let’s be clear: pineapples are nature’s way of saying “you really have to want this.” They look like medieval torture devices, they’re impossible to cut cleanly without looking like you’ve just performed surgery in a blender, and the core is about as chewable as a flip-flop. Enter the pineapple slicer – your ticket to fruit nirvana. In theory.

The updated OXO Good Grips Pineapple Corer & Slicer still promises to do everything short of solving your mortgage. You slice the top off, twist the device into the fruit like you’re drilling for oil, and voilà – perfectly symmetrical pineapple rings.

Unless, of course, you’ve gone in off-centre, which means you now have rings shaped like Salvador Dalí’s melting clocks and a kitchen that looks like it hosted a juice-based crime scene.

Who Even Thought This Was a Good Idea?

Legend has it this device was invented by someone tired of bleeding on their fruit salad. And honestly, fair. Cutting a pineapple manually is like defusing a spiky time bomb. But it’s 2025, and we have AI generating grocery lists and fridges that send passive-aggressive notifications about your lettuce going bad. Do we really need a dedicated tool for one fruit?

Apparently yes. And it still sells like pineapples in a piña colada shortage.

The Good, The Bad, and The Juicy

Let’s get down to brass tacks.

The Good:

• It actually works. As in, within 90 seconds you can have rings that look like they came from a Michelin-starred brunch.
• You save your fingers from pineapple-induced trauma.
• The ratcheting handle? Chef’s kiss. It means you can twist without popping a wrist.
• Dishwasher-safe and easily dismantled for cleaning. This is rare in kitchen gadgets that aren’t designed by IKEA.

The Bad:

• Wastes a chunk of fruit unless you’re freakishly precise. Like-surgeon-in-zero-gravity precise.
• It’s bulky. It sits in your drawer like an unused gym membership.
• Only works on pineapples. Unlike, say, a good knife that doesn’t care if it’s dicing onions or avocados.

Price Check and Inflation Shock

Back in 2013, you could snag one of these beauties for the price of two lattes and a smug Instagram post. In 2025? It’ll set you back around $22.95 on Amazon – or what used to be a tank of gas in the Before Times. Still, it’s not outrageous when you factor in the time, blood, and dignity it saves you.

Oh, and don’t forget—buying through our affiliate link supports more brutally honest reviews. You’re welcome.

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Final Verdict: Ananas or An-a-NOT?

If you eat pineapple more than twice a year and have the spatial awareness of a sober adult, get it. It’s a tool that does one thing exceptionally well. But if your idea of fruit is whatever’s stuck to your yogurt lid, skip it. There are cheaper, smaller, more versatile ways to feel like a kitchen god.

So here’s to you, pineapple slicer. Still spinning. Still spiralling. Still confusing visitors who open your kitchen drawer and say, “Is this for plumbing?”

Look into our next review: The Futuristic Relic You Can No Longer Use: Classic Match Foosball for iPad