Last Updated on May 23, 2025 by nice2buy
The Pitch
Welcome to the future, where even your door lock comes with an app and a smug attitude. The August 1st Generation Smart Lock was sold to us as the greatest advancement in home security since the invention of, well, the door. According to the marketing geniuses, keys are now passé – mere “antiquated pieces of metal stupidity”. Yes, apparently the simple key (which has worked flawlessly for centuries) is no longer acceptable in 2014 and beyond. Instead, we’re told to entrust our front door to a Bluetooth-powered gizmo and a smartphone app, because tapping a screen is somehow superior to the primitive ritual of inserting a key. The pitch is that this lock will make your life so convenient that you’ll never have to jingle a keyring again. How hard can it be, right? Well, grab your popcorn, because the premise itself is absurd enough to make a horse laugh (more on that later).
Design & Install: A Comedy of Errors
On the surface, the August Smart Lock (1st Gen) looks sleek – a round metallic puck about the size of a hockey puck on steroids. It clips onto the inside of your existing deadbolt (so from the outside you still have a keyhole, presumably to maintain the element of surprise). The idea is brilliantly simple: just remove the old thumb-turn, attach August’s adapter, and click the smart lock in place. Installation is advertised as “stupid-simple” with no locksmith required. In theory, even a mildly trained chimpanzee could do it. In practice, however, this DIY project can quickly turn into a slapstick routine. Imagine me on a Sunday afternoon: screwdriver in one hand, the august (pun intended) smart lock in the other, and a look of utter disbelief on my face as the device refuses to latch onto the adapter because I tightened a screw a tad too much (cue exasperated sigh). It’s a comedy of errors – too tight and the unit won’t latch, too loose and the whole contraption wobbles with each turn. The instructions might as well say “fiddle with it until you either get it right or fling it out the nearest window.”
Then there’s the lovely little design quirks. The lock’s faceplate (which hides the four AA batteries) is held on by magnets. In theory that’s nifty; in reality, some customers reported the cover plate falling off every few days. Nothing says quality like your high-tech lock periodically shedding parts on the floor. Perhaps it’s the lock’s way of asking for attention – “Feed me new batteries, human!” Speaking of which, the device weighs a couple of pounds and feels robust, but I suspect that’s just to reassure you that you bought a serious piece of kit. In truth, it’s basically a motorized knob with delusions of grandeur. At least you can still use your old key from the outside if all else fails (and trust me, it will). That keyhole is like the emergency exit on this rollercoaster of a product – the one thing standing between you and a locked door when the smart features throw a tantrum.
App, Batteries, and Other Nightmares
Ah yes, the app. Because every gadget nowadays demands you install yet another app that will inevitably misbehave at the worst time. The August Smart Lock pairs with your phone via Bluetooth 4.0en.wikipedia.org. When it works, you can stroll up to your door, tap your phone, and voilà – open sesame. The trouble is, it often performs about as reliably as an umbrella made of tissue paper. The Bluetooth connectivity is dodgy and slow – you might find yourself standing in front of your door, swiping and tapping like a madman while nothing happens. Sometimes the lock and phone do their little Bluetooth handshake instantly; other times it’s a nail-biting wait. I’ve had moments where I wasn’t sure if I was trying to unlock a door or attempting to hack into Fort Knox. Real users have vented similar frustrations: connection timeouts, apps freezing, and instances where the lock just drops off and signs you out for giggle. One frustrated soul noted that the much-hyped Auto-Unlock (where it’s supposed to magically unlock as you approach) “has never successfully worked” for them. In tech terms, that feature is as useful as a chocolate teapot.
And heaven help you if you’re on Android. The August app was clearly built with an iPhone in mind, while Android support was, to put it kindly, “a slightly borked version”. That means Android users get to enjoy an even glitchier experience. Many Android folks reported features not working or the app sulking like a toddler who missed nap time. So if you’re an Android user, you might find your smart lock about as compatible as oil and water – a fact the marketing materials conveniently forget to emphasize. Nothing builds confidence in a security device like the phrase “it works great (except when it doesn’t)”.
Now onto the power source: batteries. Yes, this smart lock feeds on four AA batteries. The manufacturer cheerily claims these will last around a year. A year! Perhaps on a lab door that nobody ever opens. In real life usage, you’ll be lucky to get a few months before the dreaded low-battery warnings start, or worse, the lock simply dies without so much as a goodbye. Users have found the battery life can be atrocious. One exasperated owner calculated he was burning through about $10 worth of batteries every month to appease this electronic doorman. Another succinctly summarized the situation: “Battery life sucks. Wouldn’t buy one again”. When the batteries do run low, the lock tends to get sluggish and temperamental – imagine a wind-up toy soldier marching slower and slower. If you ignore the app’s battery alerts (assuming the app is even connected long enough to deliver them), the August lock might decide to take a nap just when you need it most. And of course it will be pouring rain when this happens, because Murphy’s Law loves to join the party. There you are, shivering on your doorstep, smartphone in one hand, the other hand desperately trying to twist a now-unpowered electronic knob that’s about as responsive as a dead parrot. Pro tip: keep some spare AAs handy, unless you fancy performing an impromptu battery swap in the dark while rainwater fills your shoes.
Real Use: When the Door Doesn’t Open
So what’s it like living with this wonder of modern technology? In a word: comical. Picture this real-world scenario: You come home with arms full of groceries, juggling bags like a circus clown. Normally, you’d fish out your key and be inside in five seconds. But you, proud owner of a Smart Lock, decide to go keyless. You fumble for your phone (which might also be nearly out of battery – wouldn’t that be icing on the cake?), open the August app, and wait. And wait. The app is thinking about connecting… still thinking… meanwhile, a bag of apples is slicing into your wrist. Eventually, if you’re lucky, the door unlocks with a mechanized clunk and you kick it open in irritation. If you’re unlucky, the app will cheerfully inform you “Could not connect to lock” – leaving you doing the digital equivalent of jiggling the handle. I’ve stood there in that exact situation, resisting the urge to drop the groceries and simply knock on my own door out of frustration. The Smart Lock was supposed to eliminate such indignities, not create new ones.
It gets better (or worse, depending on your sense of humor). A friend of mine came over recently and I got to experience the full awkwardness of smart home tech in the wild. The door refused to auto-unlock as programmed, so we both stood on the porch in awkward silence while I performed a ritual of app-restarting and Bluetooth toggling. My friend, trying not to laugh, asked, “Couldn’t we just use a key?” That’s the moment when the absurdity really hit home – we have reinvented the door lock only to make opening a door more complicated. How hard can it be to outsmart a traditional key? Turns out, pretty hard.
Real users have horror stories as well. One unlucky August owner spent two hours on the phone with tech support after the lock simply decided to stop responding one day. The support’s grand solution: send a replacement unit. (Because nothing says reliability like needing a warranty swap after 8 weeks.) His wife was once completely locked out of their house because the August’s Bluetooth refused to recognize her phone. Imagine coming home to your own door saying “Nope, access denied,” just because your phone and lock aren’t on speaking terms. The only thing more ironic would be a burglar casually climbing in through a window while you, the rightful homeowner, are stuck outside fiddling with your phone. In fact, after enduring enough of these shenanigans, that particular user got a full refund and reverted to an old-fashioned “dumb” lock. Yes, he literally went back to the very thing the smart lock was meant to replace. That’s a bit like trading in your unreliable high-tech sports car for a trusty bicycle – sure, it hurts the ego, but at least the bike won’t randomly refuse to let you ride it. Other folks have declared the first-gen August one of the least reliable gadgets they’ve ever owned. It’s a pattern: initial excitement gives way to annoyance, then rage, and finally the humbled realization that maybe the trusty brass key wasn’t so stupid after all.
And let’s not forget the manual lock fallback. If the motor or app isn’t cooperating, you can always twist the August’s outer ring by hand to lock or unlock, like a common peasant. The company even touts that its big, ergonomic knob is easier to turn than a standard deadbolt thumb-turn. That might be true under ideal conditions. But when you’re stressed because the app failed and the batteries are dying, manually twisting this chunky knob feels about as smooth as wrestling an alligator. You’re never quite sure if the bolt has fully retracted or not – until you either hear the welcome click of the door opening or you sprain your wrist in the attempt. It’s awkward, it’s counter-intuitive, and it reinforces the comic truth: all this fancy tech, and you still end up doing things by hand as if it were 1899.
Final Verdict
The August 1st Gen Smart Lock is a poster child for unnecessary technology. In theory, a keyless future sounds wonderful – open your door with a tap of your phone, share digital keys with friends, feel like Tony Stark entering your high-tech lair. In practice, it’s an over-engineered solution to a problem that didn’t exist. Traditional keys are simple, cheap, and effective. They don’t run on batteries, they don’t require Bluetooth, and they certainly don’t need a firmware update to work on a rainy night. By contrast, this smart lock offers the thrilling possibility that one day you’ll be locked out of your own house by a software bug. How innovative!
Should you buy this product? Let me put it this way: only if you enjoy frustration as a lifestyle. If you’re a tech masochist who gets a kick out of troubleshooting at your front door, or if you simply have $250 burning a hole in your pocket for the privilege of being a beta-tester, then sure, go for it. You’ll have a great anecdote to tell – perhaps while using your spare key to finally get inside. For everyone else in the sane world, the final verdict is simple: stick with a regular lock or get a newer-generation smart lock that’s ironed out these issues. The first-gen August Smart Lock was a clever idea that proved one thing definitively – sometimes the old ways are hard to beat. As one wise reviewer concluded, “I would never buy an August lock again based on that experience”. The humble key may be a piece of metal stupidity in the eyes of August’s marketing department, but it’s a reliable piece of metal stupidity. And after spending quality time with this gadget, I’ll take reliable stupidity over smart chaos any day. In the battle of Key vs. App, the key wins by knockout.
On a serious note, though: while we can laugh about dodgy smart locks and absurd gadgets, mixing tech gimmicks with genuinely dangerous situations can lead to real tragedy. Recall the viral story of a daredevil who died during a stunt – he was filming a tornado while wearing a horse-head mask for laughsbbc.co.ukbbc.co.uk. It doesn’t get more absurd than that, and sadly, it cost him his life. It’s a stark reminder that technology and foolish behavior can be a deadly combination. So by all means, have a chuckle at the goofy smart lock that won’t unlock, but always keep a sense of perspective. Gadgets are replaceable; your life isn’t. Stay safe, don’t chase storms in costume, and maybe keep a real key handy – just in case your smart home decides to play dumb.
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