Last Updated on May 31, 2025 by nice2buy
You know, in a world where we have robot vacuum cleaners, AI-generated lullabies, and smart toilets that talk back, there still exists this absolute steampunk fever dream of a device: Mrs. Anderson’s Apple Peeling and Coring Machine.
Yes. It still exists. In 2025. Like a kitchen relic from a timeline where everyone owns a cherry orchard and thinks peeling apples manually is a cardinal sin. And somehow, this gloriously overcomplicated contraption still sells on Amazon. Which means somewhere out there, people are looking at a paring knife and thinking, “Too simple. I need gears.”
Let’s dive in, one rotating apple at a time.
🛠 What Is This Red Twisting Thing?
Imagine if Rube Goldberg designed kitchen tools during a cider-fueled bender. That’s this machine. It peels, cores, and slices your apples (or potatoes, or your hopes) while looking like a leftover part from a Soviet submarine.
The concept is noble: slap the apple on the spike, turn the crank, and voilà – the skin comes off in one curly ribbon, the core is surgically removed, and you’re left with a spiral of fruit you probably didn’t ask for.
The machine says it saves time. But so does teleportation. And I haven’t seen that work either.
⏱ Time Efficiency? Try “Time-Theatrical”
The sales pitch goes: “Slice and core apples in seconds!”
Reality: You’ll spend 2 minutes finding a smooth-enough surface for the suction cup to stick, another 30 seconds clamping it down because the suction didn’t work, 1 minute choosing an apple of the right firmness and girth, and another minute adjusting the blade because the last apple got shredded like a cheese grater met a fruit salad.
Meanwhile, your grandma, with a $1 IKEA knife, has already peeled six apples and made the crust.
🍏 Who Is This For?
- Bakers with elbow issues – okay, fair. Cranking might be easier than hand peeling.
- People prepping 47 pies for Thanksgiving – alright, that’s a niche but valid use.
- Children who want to feel useful – until the thing bites back.
- Anyone living in 1923.
But for the rest of us? Unless you’re in an apple-pie-fueled frenzy or running a cider factory from your garage, this machine is just a crimson-colored symbol of ambition gone wrong.
🧼 Cleaning Drama: Now With Sticky Blades
You thought peeling was the hard part? Wait until you clean it. Sticky apple juice, hidden pulp, and blades placed just awkwardly enough to turn cleaning into a Saw sequel.
Also, if your apple isn’t perfectly symmetrical, congratulations – you’ve just created what looks like a fruit crime scene.
⭐ But It Has Fans…
Yes, the Amazon reviews are mostly positive. But that’s the internet. Somewhere out there, people still believe a banana slicer is a revolutionary product.
Some call it a “must-have for pie lovers”. Others praise it for “being fun”. Which makes me question if we’re reviewing a kitchen tool or a theme park ride.
Let’s be honest: if “fun” is how you describe peeling apples, it’s probably been a while since you left the house.
✅ Final Verdict
Is it useless? No.
Is it necessary? Also no.
It’s a charming, kitschy, mildly dangerous piece of kitchen nostalgia that somehow made it through the last decade without being cancelled. And in a strange way, I respect that.
If you’re peeling 50 apples a day and don’t mind a bit of drama – go nuts. But if you just want an apple for lunch? Stick with a knife and save your sanity.
Available now on Amazon if you’re the kind of person who likes the idea of turning a 10-second job into a 3-minute performance.
Buy it here through our affiliate link and support our crusade against kitchen nonsense.
Check our other review – Bond Girls Book Review (2025): A 144-Page Ode to Explosions, Eyeliner, and Ejector Seats